For some men, bridal showers are a mysterious ritual in which their bride-to-be gets together with the girls and comes back with unrecognizable appliances and utensils.

Tradition has bridal showers originating in Holland. According to missabigail.com, a young Dutch bride disobeyed her father and married a poor miller, forfeiting her dowry in the process. Friends of the groom 'showered' the couple with gifts to outfit their new home, and the custom was born.

Today, bridal showers have evolved into elaborate parties with themes, games and a chance to tease the bride.

The theme party has been popular since the first half of the 20th century.

According to a 1945 edition of "Emily Post's Guide to Etiquette", "If the invitation specifies 'linen' or 'kitchen utensils' or 'silk stockings,' the gifts should be those indicated."

Today, theme parties are much more creative. Some showers assign each guest a time of the day or a room of the house a gift represents. For example, a guest assigned the garage may give jumper cables and gardening tools, while a guest assigned 6 p.m. may give pots and pans for cooking dinner.

Ethnic themes are also gaining in popularity, as Tanya Evans suggests in her book on African-American bridal showers.

Another mainstay of bridal showers is games. The goal of most games is to make the bride squirm.

The gum game is one popular bridal shower activity. The bride must answer questions about her groom that he has already answered. For every wrong question, she has to put a piece of gum in her mouth. She must chew all the pieces until the game is over.

The presents are the focus of many games. One guest will keep track of the number of ribbons a bride breaks. The end result is a prediction of the bride's future children. Another guest writes down what the bride says as she opens each gift, and reads them aloud as things the bride will say on her wedding night. A third will take the ribbons and bows and make a bouquet.

"They made a dress for me out of all the wrapping paper," said Samantha Bonser, a senior from Pocatello, Idaho majoring in archaeology. "They made me wear it and took a picture."

Bonser was the victim of another bridal shower game. She had to bake a cake from scratch without a recipe and eat the resulting product.

"It actually turned out ok," she said. "I didn't add enough chocolate and not quite enough sugar, but it wasn't bad."

In addition to the obligatory games, the traditional cake and bridal shower punch is served. A precursor to the wedding reception, the punch is pink and contains lemon-lime soda and sherbet.

While men may see a bridal shower as a strange and secretive event, the groom needs to keep the bigger picture in mind. It's really all about the gifts.



Copyright Brigham Young University 13 Feb 2003