BYU NewsNet - Editorial: Back to the basics

It's official: I'm a loser.

A "friend" of mine recently pointed this out to me.

At first, I was a bit taken aback by the observation. A loser? I'd never before had it spelled out to me by anyone quite so bluntly - not to mention tactlessly. (Or, at least, not by anyone whose first name wasn't Justin or Steve - and certainly not by anyone I liked.)

But I started thinking about it. I realized that, as of tomorrow, 24 will not only be the name of Fox's Tuesday night, real-time, high octane, who-in-the-world-ever-actually-has-a-day-like-this-except-Keifer-Sutherland drama, it will also be the exact number of Valentine's Days I have spent UNattached.

Heck, I've spent all the time in between those Valentine's Days pretty unattached too. And it hasn't really even been close.

I mean, there was certainly a time when Valentine's Day was cool. I used get a little heart-shaped box full of Superman and Heman cards with notes on them saying things like "Be mine" or "You're swell." I'd even receive enough Conversation Hearts to last the entire walk home from school.

But, alas, the sweet innocence of childhood is fleeting. Did I ever stop to think my classmates only gave me those cards BECAUSE THEY HAD TO?

Probably. But it didn't matter then.

I'm not trying to sound bitter here. Really. But I think I do speak for single people of all races, creeds, colors, genders and tax brackets when I say this: Dating is stupid. And Valentine's Day is guilty by association.

As bad as dating probably was when it was first invented, we Latter-day Saints have managed to make it even worse.

When it comes to dating and relationships, everyone in Provo is wound up so tight it's a wonder anyone ever finds love at all.

Or maybe that's just me.

I know campus bishops and stake presidents are well intentioned, but I think most of their efforts to put us poor, wayward single students on the fast track to exaltation are pretty counterproductive.

"You need to be dating more, brethren, or you're going to be DOOR MONITORS for ETERNITY!"

As if knowing this makes it any easier when your dignity and self-respect are in danger of being ripped out of your chest.

Around here, I've found half the terror of asking someone out comes from thinking, "I wonder if she's thinking, 'Is he thinking what I think he's thinking?'"

Do you see my point here?

I don't imagine you do, so I'll expound.

What I mean to say is, around these parts, that big, bad "M" word is too much in the foreground. Too often, fear of the "M" word prevents us from the most important phase to eventually getting to the "M" word itself: friendship.

Provo, this veritable Twilight Zone of dating, manages to warp our sense of reality and good judgment. It's happened to me. It's happened to you. It's happened to all of us, to one degree or another.

So, to quote "The Two Towers," "How did it come to this?"

Wasn't dating intended as a simple tool to help people get to know each other? Why do we make it so hard on ourselves? How is it 24-year-old single men are perceived as beyond hope? And why is my mother fully convinced she will never have grandkids?

I'm not saying it's anyone's fault, but I am saying it's ridiculous.

So my advice to every unattached person out there - and especially to myself - is simple. No matter what your mom or "friends" say, relax. Take a deep breath. Enjoy the sunshine. Because who knows? This may be your very last chance to be a loser.