Boxes of chocolates and bouquets of roses are commonly given on Valentine's Day, but this year, a couple in Provo is giving the gift of service.

"Aaron and I recognized that it would be nice to do something to help someone else enjoy the day," said Jennifer Winn.

Aaron, BYU law student, and Jennifer Winn, BYU graduate, said their friends, Jeremy and Desiree Harris, had been going through some hard times since their second child was born.

"I realized they don't get any time together, with them both being so busy with life and a new baby," she said.

The Winns decided they wanted to babysit their friends' children on Valentine's night and treat the couple to a quiet evening together.

"Between school, work, church callings and two kids, we haven't even thought about dates," Desiree Harris said.

David Dollahite, professor in the school of family life and editor of "Strengthening Our Families: An In-depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family," said it is crucial for couples to be intentional about date night.

"Couples need to get away for a couple of hours to rekindle feelings and talk about each other, their hopes and their concerns," Dollahite said.

Jeremy and Desiree Harris have been married for three and a half years and had their second child in December, but little Madelyne was two months premature, weighing only 3 pounds, 9 ounces, making life a little more telling. But Desiree said Madelyne is doing well.

Harris said she and Jeremy plan their schedules so one of them can be with 2-year-old Brooke and their 6-week-old baby.

However, within the challenges of daily life, they forget to plan time to be with each other.

"It's been really hectic so we are excited for an evening together," she said. "We are grateful to have Aaron and Jennifer for friends."

Jeremy and Desiree will be treated to dinner at Maglebys, a local restaurant, on Valentine's night.

"It will be so nice to spend time with my husband," Desiree Harris said. "We can spend that time talking."

Jennifer Winn said that not only will she and her husband be able to do something nice for the Harrises, but this also gives them a chance to spend time with children.

"Couples are blessed to have children," Winn said. "So much of raising a child brings the husband and wife together by serving the child. And sense we haven't had that opportunity, this will be a great evening for us to share our love for each other and with other people."

"This is something we will always remember," Aaron Winn said.

Rachel Eng, a senior from Orem majoring in marriage, family and human development said she and her husband have only been out once since their child was born.

"I think it is really important, it's just hard to find time," she said. "But Albert and I have some time together after the baby goes to sleep."

Harris said after her first child was born, it took her and her husband a while to realize they had to schedule time to be with each other. But she said they are working on it.

Harris said her friend once told her, "Either you pay for a babysitter now or you pay for marriage counseling later."

Sometimes it's hard for parents to leave their young children and that's OK, but couples should start making date night a priority, Dollahite said.

"When Jennifer told me they wanted to do this, we were so excited," Desiree Harris said. "We know we should go out but it's extremely hard."

Winn said Valentine's Day can be overrated - people try to think of the best and biggest gift, but usually the best gifts come from your heart.



Copyright Brigham Young University 13 Feb 2003